Two weeks ago yesterday our minivan's transmission went out. That was a huge blow! Yesterday I was driving our youngest daughter, Ruth, to swim and I broke down in one of the busiest intersections of North Miami in our big blue van. Our only working vehicle at the moment. I waited for a tow truck for an hour and then had to walk the mile back to where Ruth was swimming. I am not gonna lie, I had a lot of questions for God in that mile's walk. I wanted to know why he couldn't cause that to happen when I was at the pool? Why he left me in that intersection for an hour? Why did it have to be now, to our only working vehicle? Why now, in what is probably the busiest week with all that has to be done with Hannah and Rachael's spring performance this weekend? Why now when Ruth has to be at Sectionals for swim and the last one that I threw at him, You know we can't get to the park for the Saturday morning meeting with the homeless if we don't have a car. Isn't that why you sent us here God? Why NOW and What are You trying to tell me? I was coming at Him with my questions for sure.
So, for the last few weeks I have been doing the epic challenge that Jeff threw out to all of you yesterday. I had made a comment to a mentor that I was doing this challenge and he encouraged me to read a book while I was doing the challenge. The book is called,"Glorious Ruin." Honestly, I had not really started reading it til day before yesterday, the premise of the book, "How suffering set you free." Really?!? The authors, Tullian Tchividjian, goal of the book is to help us avoid the typical mistakes we make when we try to deal with the pain in our lives. He shows that we don't need answers and explanations as much as we need God's presence in and through our suffering.
This morning, this is what I was reading, "Our hope is not Jesus plus an explanation of why suffering happens, or Jesus plus an explanation about why you have this, that spouse, those circumstances, or this pain. Our hope is that God is especially present in our suffering." Really? Right now, all I want is an explanation! He then goes on to say,"The gospel is not ultimately a defense from pain and suffering; rather, it is the message of God's rescue through our pain. It allows us to drop our defenses, to escape not from the pain, but from the prison of how and why to the freedom of Who."
So it really is not answers I need, It's just God's presence! When all of this is flying around me, it is really hard for me to rest in knowing that God is with me. That He can and will rescue me. So today, I am seeking freedom in Who, and not How and Why? Honestly it is not going to be easy! I hope today that no matter what pain and suffering you are going through that you can find peace in knowing that the how and why is not important, just the Who!
No comments:
Post a Comment