Scars

Blog Post by Wendy Kauffman

"We all have scars, but as we run our fingers along their rough edges may we not have bitterness or self-pity or guilt; may we feel redeemed." - Mike Donehey

This is a quote from the lead singer of the band Tenth Avenue North. I am kind of partial to this band because they are local boys here from Florida. I love this quote! There are so many times that I feel like my life has been defined by the scars that I have. For me, the scars come from Health Issues I have had, From mistakes that I have made, and from the many ways that I have hurt or been hurt by others.

We all have them, Scars that is. They may not be visible to the naked eye but they are there. A few days ago we were reading in the book of Joshua with our kids. We were talking with our kids about faith and believing that God is on our side and that he never leaves us. For the first time in a year, they have seeds of doubt, they are wondering why it feels like God has left us and why it is so hard right now. They are suffering from the scars that the last few weeks have brought. I just want them to know that scars, as awful as they feel, look or seem at the time, are signs of Hope! It means we have been healed of something! Our scars are a sign of Grace and Mercy!

Then I thought of this song by Gungor.

No matter who you are, where you are at in your journey, that you can see your scars and be filled with hope. Know that God makes beautiful things!

shadow boxing

I was driving home from dropping the girls off at school one day this week and as I was sitting at a red light, out of the bushes, on the other side of the road, next to a bridge, a guy that looked like he was about 45-50 years old crawled out onto the sidewalk. He was wearing muddy clothes and his hair was going in all directions. He brushed himself off, to no avail, and looked around on the ground until he found a small cardboard sign. He picked it up just in time for the traffic to allow him to cross over to the median to start panhandling. As he was crossing the street he started punching, jabbing and swinging at the air in front of him like a boxer approaches the ring.

That picture stayed with me all week. Not because some dirty homeless guy with some crazy antics crawled out of the bushes and started asking people for spare change. But, because this guy slept in the mud, did not have coffee or anything to eat yet, looked like he would be spending the day out in the rain and yet he was ready to fight another day.

If ever there was an underdog, it's him. I'm routing for him and I hope you do to. Please pray for the homeless, that God will meet their needs and next time you see one, go ahead, give 'em a high five (bucks).

Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those

who close their eyes to them receive many curses. 

~ Proverbs 28:27

Joel Anderson

Hello, my name is Joel Anderson. Those of you who know me know that a couple years ago I longed to leave the safety net that nearby friends and family were willing to offer as well as my comfortable, mundane, droll, boring, dull, fly swattin', watchin-the-grass-grow way of life behind me in Missouri, in exchange for the teeth gritting, hair raising, action packed adventures in the urban jungle of South Forida's (SoFla) palm tree lined, zombie walking, bad-driver-riddled streets, relying on God to provide for me all along the way. And for those of you who don't know me... That's exactly what I did and I haven't looked back. It's been a wild ride and I can't imagine how boring I'd still be if I hadn't come to South Florida and met these people who's impact on me has sparked fires in my heart that have forever left an indelible mark on who I am today, who I will become in future days. And these fires will continue to burn brightly as long as I have the breath of life in me.

It's with a sort of bitter sweet sadness that I must now leave these incredible people here in SoFla to return to Missouri and the familial duties that I believe are my obligation, having learned the things I've learned along the way. Now that this time here is drawing to a close, it becomes increasingly evident to me that this is the right thing for me to do at this time in my life based primarily on the health of close family as well as the trends that are becoming obvious in the geopolitical landscape of our nation. Will I be back to SoFla one day? I don't know. But I DO know that this has been an amazing life changing experience and those I've encountered along the way have been wonderful sources of encouragement for me through the hard times that have been all too frequent. They have helped me to keep my focus aimed on the positives and have lifted my spirits so that there were just as many wonderful awe-inspiring times as there were hard. All of them in one way or another made it easier to bear the hardships that go hand in hand with such amazing adventures.

So, with my life forever changed and the decision to return home decided, these past few months flew by. As my self imposed departure date has steadily approached, I have planned routes, packed belongings, made check lists, checked those lists, double checked them again, and rushed around to accomplish all the little things that are required to achieve the perfect move. All with the smooth efficiency of a four star general running a flawless campaign. Then, about a month ago I hit a snag. Sort of. Not a snag exactly, more of a hiccup really. The family that has been providing the lions share of the support I receive were asked to leave the house that they'd been renting. I don't know all the details of the events that led up to it, just that all of a sudden and without much warning we were all without a roof over our heads.

Somehow though, we were able to just barely get into a two bed hotel room. Most of us slept on the floor and all of us felt the sting of uncertainty as we prayed our way through the next week or two. The moving jobs that Jeff and I rely on for money slowed down, clients that Jeff's wife rely on for income turned away from us and to top it all off, the family van that she uses was totaled in a freak accident on I-95 after Jeff dropped the older children off at school. So, with fewer moving jobs, a cleaning business incapable of operating, extra time now required by the moving van to pick up the slack from the totaled van thus eating into the work day at a peak business times, money got tighter than we thought was even possible. And then just when things couldn't get any worse it became painfully obvious that it was much more expensive to use the moving van with it's 10-12 miles per gallon twice a day for the round trip to get the kids to and from school, than it was to use the van which got a significantly better fuel to mile ratio. Oh, and with the moving van, that 10-12mpg is on a good day. On the rough days it gets as little as 6 miles to the gallon.

With our patience for each other running low from being cooped up in a tiny hotel room along with the stress of our finely tuned and well oiled yet fragile system crashing down around us. We reached a breaking point. Something had to change. So, we packed everything in the van and headed south because the one thing that we could change was how many miles were in each round trip to the school. We found a room through the same hotel chain much closer to the school. But when we got into the room and saw that it was just ever so slightly smaller and the appliances functioned at a slightly diminished capacity... we reached our lowest point. Ever. Of all time. With morale below it's lowest possible point, unable to feed our community famous breakfast for the homeless and no promise of work tomorrow the people who loved me the most and did more for me than anyone else on my adventures, gave serious and deliberate consideration to packing everything up and some how some way getting back home to their family in Missouri. The only reason they didn't give up was because even that was financially impossible. Giving up, literally was not an option.

So, instead we just accepted what we could. The small things. Things like the fact that the wifi worked better in this room. The fact that somehow every day we made at least the bare minimum in moving jobs to pay for the room for the next day. The fact that even though we couldn't put hot food in the bellies of the hungry hungry homeless we could at least give them a dollar when we pass them by, if not a dollar fifty. Our outlook slowly shifted to one of acceptance relating to our circumstances. As we let go of the demoralizing fear that accompanied our seemingly uncontrolled free fall into the lowest possible moment of our year, we began to get what God was teaching us. That no matter how difficult or impossible things appear to be, God will not fail us. Because even though we reached our lowest low, the kids had food in their bellies each night and a roof over their heads. Things have been slowly improving. We got out of the tiny hotel room and into a small two bedroom apartment. It feels like a palace. I'm sure all of us have a pretty keen appreciation for the space we have now. Oh, and it's right smack dab in between our two homeless hot spots where we do most of our work.

In the aftermath of this period of darkness things are getting better. Slowly. I'm sure that Jeff wishes we had more jobs than we know what to do with, the same as myself, but it IS the middle of the month. A notoriously slow time for the moving business. It should pick up pretty soon and there is the possibility that we might win the bid for a big job that's scheduled for the end of the month. And my plans for exodus? Delayed by more than a month but still in the works. If I put my foot to the pedal and the pedal to the metal, I just might make it out of here at the end of the month.

But here's the thing.

The Kauffman family has embodied the very essence of love in action and I myself have been a major beneficiary of that love.

Yes, I could save up the rest of the money I need to bounce and leave them behind to fend for themselves, and with no small amount of gratefulness in my heart. But... what if I could give back to them some how?

I have witnessed with my own eyes the amazing life changing results of the Kauffman's ongoing efforts to reach the unloved of Miami and their efforts to love them like they've never been loved before. The Kauffman family and their non profit organization ReMerge accept the rejected, feed the hungry and comfort the hurting. The homeless, the unemployed, the broken hearted, the lonely. These are the people who need the Kauffmans so very much more than I ever did. Now I may not be able to replace their totaled van. I may not be able to improve the gas mileage on the moving van, or get them into a house with four bedrooms and a fenced in back yard. I may not be able to do much to cover their needs, but two things I can do. I can give them my support and I can spread the word about what they're doing to make this world a better place for all of us.

Please join me in praying for the Kauffmans and ReMerge as they press forward in their mission to love South Florida's social rejects. And a donation of any amount would be an awesome way to show your support for the work that they do.

help wanted

I've been reading through the book of Psalms the last couple of weeks and found that many of the Psalms were written by David when he was running for his life from King Saul. Every day was a struggle for David, every day he had to rely totally on God just to stay alive and exist.

In one sentence he would be asking why God was nowhere to be found, the next sentence he would declare that his enemies had surrounded him and were attacking relentlessly, the next sentence he would be thanking God for being his fortress and fighting his battles for him.

No time in my life have I related so closely to David's Psalms as I do now. All except being hunted down by a demon possessed king and quite frankly, I don't want to experience that at all. However, at every turn the enemy IS attacking. He steals at every opportunity and any chance he gets to destroy what has been built he does. Often it seems God is nowhere to be found and that he's far off taking care of things that matter, like protecting people in the midst of war, famine and pestilence. But then, out of nowhere he shows up and fights our battle and we survive another day.

Truth be told, we totally rely on God just to stay alive and exist every day here in South Florida. In Psalms 55:11 it says "Destructive forces are at work in the city; threats and lies never leave its streets." We are in a seemingly never ending battle and well, battles make a person battle weary. We are wearing out and need rest.

Please pray that God will fight our battles harder, quicker and more effectively and that he will set us on solid ground. I'll be updating our specific prayer requests in "The Want Adds" section above, please take the time to join us in praying for these things and share them with your friends and family.

Psalms 55:22-23 -

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

But you, God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of decay; the bloodthirsty and deceitful will not live out half their days.

But as for me, I trust in you.

here I am

Is not this the fast that I choose: 

to loose the bonds of injustice,
to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke? 

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover them,
and not to hide yourself from your own kin? 

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,

and your healing shall spring up quickly;
your vindicator shall go before you,
the glory of the LORD shall be your rearguard.

Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
you shall cry for help, and God will say, Here I am.

- Isaiah 58:6-9

I love this passage because it shows that our actions are meaningless, unless they are rooted in love and compassion. 

out of the dark

We knew a year ago that this leg of our lives would be the hardest thing we would ever do. It's proven to be even harder than our wildest imagination. It's seems pretty close to being the Texas Two Step, but, instead of going two steps forward and one step back, it's one step forward and two steps back.

It's not working with people that are totally hopeless that gets us down. It's the constant struggle of trying to make ends meet while reaching out to the homeless. We are at any given time, one day away from being homeless ourselves.

One of the hardest things has been empty promises. So many have said they were going to help support the work we are doing, but, never do. It has given us a realization of how we as humans are so unreliable. It makes me think of how God feels when we tell him we'll do something and then not follow through. But, of course, he's God and already knows when we are making promises we won't keep. Yet he continues to love us no matter what.

In fact, God's love is so deep, that it makes this whole struggle worth it. Witnessing first hand the miracles of God is amazing and no matter our earthly struggle, our peace lies in him.

Last night I dropped Wendy off at the laundry mat and went to go change the oil and clean the van. Apparently the old work van is much to dirty for her and the kids to ride in. Since we lost our family van to an accident almost 4 weeks ago they've had to ride in it anytime we need to go somewhere and they decided it was time for a forced intervention.

Doug (center top, in black) 

As Joel and I were finishing it up at a car wash vacuum station, out of the shadows we heard a voice. No, it wasn't God, it was Doug. One of the guys we've fed on numerous occasions. He was really glad to see us and wondered where we had been. We told him times have been pretty hard and we had to move out of the house we were living in and move into a motel that didn't have a kitchen we could cook in. He was shocked.

He said he'd gotten out of jail a month or so ago and has gone to the park every Saturday morning to see if we were there. When we told him we want to start it back up this week or maybe next week, if we can work it all out. He said "no rush! make sure you take care of you first."

He then said, with heart felt compassion, that he wanted to pray for us because we had helped more people than anyone he'd ever seen before and that God knew it and would bless us for it. He went on and on about how we had helped him and others to the point it was a little embarrassing. So, of course we said we would love his prayers and so that's what we did. Right then, right there, in the parking lot of a gas station car wash, Doug prayed for us. The earnest prayers of this broken, homeless man made me cry.

Yes, sometimes feeding biscuits and gravy and spending time with a bunch of societies rejects seems pointless. However, to often in life we don't see the miracles God is doing in other people because we are focused on the problems we have. Then at the perfect time, in the perfect place, God reveals what he's done. Out of the darkness God brings light.

Please pray that God will continue his work in Doug's (and others) life. Please pray that we continue to have the will to fight for this rag tag group of vagabonds for another year.

lost treasure

I've spent a lot of time lately, wondering why God hates me so much to put me and my family through such hard times. After watching this video, I realized I've been believing a lie. I don't know when it started, but, it did and it's gotten bigger and bigger and it's time for it to stop.

I hope this affects you as much as it has me.

You are the Treasure Opener from Vineyard Creative on Vimeo.

A Wrecked Mess!

Wow! It has been a long time since we last blogged. We had computer issues and was unable to keep in touch but we are back in business now.

So much has happened these past few weeks and one thing is perfectly clear. We have a real enemy and we fight a real battle. When you move into enemy territory the battle gets real hard real fast!

A quick update: We had to move out of the house we were in, due to some pretty difficult cirmcumstances, and had spent the last month basically living in a hotel room. Talk about testing your resolve. Everyday was very close to the day that we were giving up and getting out of dodge, but everyday, once again God would show his faithfulness in some way. Some days I think we tried to ignore it so that we could justify giving up and walking away, but the one thing we have always said is that God is faithful! NO MATTER WHAT! So now we are living in a pretty small apartment but it does have 2 bedrooms and 2 BATHROOMS. With 8 people living in such a small place, having 2 bathrooms was reason for all of us to rejoice. It is a temporary place but hopefully we will be able to take the time we need to establish ourselves in a house in the area we want to be in. It seems everytime we get away from this area, God seems to find a way to pull us back here. After living in a few different areas of the city these past few weeks, I know this is exactly where we are supposed to be!

A few weeks ago Jeff was in a pretty bad car accident. He walked way, Thank God, but our car was totaled. We have been without family transportation for a few weeks and I feel like our life is at a stand still. We are praying that this is a blessing in disguise and not a way for the enemy to gain ground. Please pray with us as we make a decision about what vehicle to buy and that will provide the most perfect, most dependable vehicle for our family. Since the accident both of us have been unable to work at the pace we both were before. I don't have transportation and Jeff found himself primarily responsible for getting our girls to and from school. It has made it hard for him to schedule work around that responsibility and then to compound that he has had to make time to go to the chiropractor 3 times a week to get his back and neck worked on because of misalignment since the accident. It has been hard, but again, God has been faithful. We know God works all things together for the good, that is our hope!