What would you do if you KNEW you could not fail???

Blog Post by Wendy Kauffman            

So this post is going to be brutally honest. Please bear with me.  I love the city we live in. I love everything about it. There are some people that I find easier to love more than others in this city but I really love it here. Even our kids, who say for effect, that they hate it here, really are starting to love it here too. Ruth has even proclaimed that she is not going back to Missouri no matter what. We can leave her here.

But, for the last few weeks I have wished that I was not here. I wish that I had not packed up my family to move here to start an outreach to the poor and a church for people who don't like church. I have told my husband several times over the last few days that I just want to go back to Missouri. I want to go where I feel like I can keep my kids safe from all the uncertainties that we face here.

We literally live day to day right now. One day can be great and the next day can come close to being the worst possible day I have ever experienced. I hate living like that. Everything about our life here is so uncertain. I really thought I was getting used to it and o.k. with it but these last few weeks I have realized that I am not used to it and my mind is not o.k. with it. My heart tries to tell my mind that I am o.k. with it, but it has not gotten to the point of convincing my very controlling mind that living with no certainty of tomorrow is o.k.

I had so many ideas of what coming here was going to look like and honestly, not one of those ideas has become a reality. There are many things we wanted to do when we came that we are doing, but none of them are near where I thought we would be 10 months into this adventure. I wanted to be so much further by now. I wanted to be doing so much more than what we are. Instead I find myself grappling with the idea that this is one big failure. We moved here almost 11 months ago and ended up living in a one bedroom, 700 sq ft. apartment for 4 months, lived in a 1,200 sq ft. 2 bedroom house infested with an insane amount of mold and then finally we ended up in a $1,700 sq ft, 2 bedroom house. It does not even really fit our family because it lacks a 3rd bedroom but it felt like a dream come true for us and was very easy for us to get into. Now, we are faced with the very real reality of having to move out of it. For a few reasons, that really have been beyond our control, we may have to move. It means we would have to start over again. I just don't know if I can do it!

Today, a friend of mine posted a status on her Facebook wall that said this: What would you do if you KNEW you could not fail??? She posted it with the passage from the Bible, from the book of Joshua, chapter 1 next to it. Here is what the beginning of Joshua 1 says:
1 After the death of Moses the Lord’s servant, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant. He said, ² “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. ³ I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you— ⁴ from the Negev wilderness in the south to the Lebanon mountains in the north, from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea^[a] in the west, including all the land of the Hittites.’ ⁵ No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.

I have been trying to convince myself of how God is with us and how He will not fail us, but to be very honest, I have not been able to this week. Please pray for us as we make tough decisions about what to do in moving forward that we will see what God's will is in this and that we can rest in knowing that with God's help, we will not fail!

peace out

Kevin ("Kev-O"), a 5 foot tall, 95 pound scrappy 50 year old guy that thinks he's a 7 foot tall 280 pound monster with nothing but time.  When he talks, you can't get a word in edgewise. If it's been done, he did it, if it's been played, he played it, if it's been kicked, he kicked it. He is a master of "one up-ers", his story is always more brutal and always more funny. To know him, truely is to love him.


The only time I've seen Kev-O quiet and respectful is when he would sit and talk with our 10 year old daughter Ruthie. I think talking with her took him back to a simpler time when he didn't have to act bigger than he was.


Kev-O was hit by a truck this week and died on the scene. 
Saturday morning breakfast will have a huge void for a while.


You gotta love 'em while you got 'em........

circus tricks

One of the guys that gave me inspiration early on was Jay Goldinger in Hollywood, Ca. He started a Homeless outreach called "food on foot". I sent him an email once (fishing for a little encouragement), asking a couple of questions about how he got to where he was and what things were successful. To my surprise, not only did he answer, but, he called me back. We had a 10-15 minute talk and what he drove home was that it's not about food for the homeless.... It's now a 100% full time job about raising money. That's all he does and he told me that if I wanted to be successful at this, that it has to be all I do too.


I found it very interesting, but, if you know me, that's not really my style. Personally, I would rather just be out feeding people, hanging out with them, praying with them, laughing and crying with them, putting them to work, getting into their lives all in an effort to show them that God loves them and uses ordinary normal people to help share his love.


However, the reality is that we do have needs and it does cost money to buy food, clothes and supplies for the poor, it costs money to operate this outreach and it costs money to live. With that said, we could use some help in the money department. Giving has been low and we've been feeling the hard pinch. 


If you haven't given lately, now would be the perfect time to help out. If you have never given, we would really appreciate it if you would consider it and pray about giving generously. If you are not able to help, please pray for us, our needs are huge but our God is HUGE-ER!

break on through to the other side

One of the homeless guys I've been spending time with is everything you never want to meet in a dark alley at night. He has a killer type instinct and looks like he would rather beat you to a pulp than have a conversation with you. He is a street hardened thug, that doesn't take non-sense from anyone. I've found that one thing he does like is biscuits and gravy and hot coffee. He's a strong guy and has been helping me move furniture and assemble IKEA furniture a couple times a week. It gives him walking around money and keeps him from mugging people.


He has been up on charges for possession of crack and drug paraphernalia. He was ordered to go through a county sponsored drug program, which he completed 6 months ago, and has been waiting for the charges to be dropped. He had a court hearing a month ago that he didn't know about, because he's living on the streets and doesn't get mail. When he missed the hearing a warrant was issued and the police picked him up. He spent three weeks in jail and was released.


A week later he had another hearing and because of a failed drug test (for an obscure opiate) he was given two weeks to retake and pass the drug test. He swears he has been clean for 6 months and hasn't done anything harder than cigarettes and an occasional beer. He has no reason to lie to me about it, in fact most guys would brag about what they've been doing. I've never witnessed this guy drunk or on drugs.


Two weeks went by and he went to his hearing, hoping to be a free man. His drug test came back positive for opiates again, a little weaker than before, but, positive none the less. As he sat in the courtroom waiting his fate, he asked the judge if he could call me. The judge agreed and this rock hard street smart thug called me. He didn't know what to say, he just explained what was going on and asked me to pick up his tent and bag of clothes so they wouldn't get stolen. It was a short call. The judge then told him he would have to re-enter the 30 day drug program at one of the outreach centers. So the call was made to find him a spot. Nobody answered the phone and nobody returned the call, so he sat there in the courtroom for a couple hours waiting. Finally the judge said, since it didn't appear the outreach centers had a place for him he would have to go through the program in jail.


That's exactly what he didn't want to hear, another 30 days in jail. He sat in the courtroom for a while longer until the sheriffs department came to get him. As they were processing him into the jail, a lady ran into the property turn in area and said "he's being released! they found him a bed!" They took him back into the courtroom and the judge asked if he had a way to get there. He told him that he did and they released him.


As I was driving him to the outreach center yesterday, he was explaining it all to me and he said "I'm not F#*&ing kidding you man, it was a God thing, seriously, I was F#*&ing praying to God so hard that they'd find me an F#*&ing bed. I just couldn't believe it when that lady ran in at the last second when they were booking me. God really showed up. I mean I just can't F#*&ing believe it."


This might be a very offensive way to talk about God, but, the point is that he really cried out to God and God heard him. This was such a huge step towards God for him and probably one of the most significant ah-ha moments he's had about the existence of God. Please pray for him as he goes through the 30 day program again that he'll grow closer to God each day.

paddy wagon

One thing that we've been trying to create among the homeless that we serve is a sense of community. Often times when wrapping up breakfast on Saturday mornings, I'll encourage the guys to keep an eye on each other and to stick together. I'll also ask about absent guys which not only shows we care about them, but, causes them to be looking out for the absentees. Well it seems to be working. Many times, as we are leaving the park, a group of guys are still there hanging out just talking.

However, the bad part of the story is, that a few days ago, a couple of the guys ran into a couple of other guys in a small parking lot. As they stood there talking a couple other guys showed up, who had beer, and they all stood there talking and drinking beer, next thing you know, three more guys showed up. Then before you can say paddy wagon, the Hollywood Police showed up in force and arrested all 9 of them.

Please pray that God uses this experience to draw them all closer to Him and each other. Please pray that God becomes a bigger and bigger presence in their lives.

warning shot

The other night, Wendy was in the kitchen checking her blood sugar level, as she normally does. I had demolished what was left of a half gallon of moose tracks ice cream about an hour before and for some reason asked her to check my blood sugar level too. I routinely like to humor her with such requests to dispel any fears she might have about my health. My blood pressure, blood sugars, cholesterol, heart rate, etc., are always text book perfect. I think because she's struggled with her own health, she is expecting me to suddenly drop dead from my terrible eating habits.


She willingly poked my finger and squeezed a droplet of blood out and soaked it up with a test strip. As I whined at how brutal she can be when drawing MY blood, the little machine bleeped and a number came up, "175". She looked at me in disbelief and stammered .... that's ... not.....good! My normal number is around 99 and even with eating a bunch of ice cream an hour before, my body should be able to metabolize the sugar much better than that.  Evasive measures were taken and I was instantly put on a diabetic diet and given an exercise regiment sufficient for training an Olympian and talks about making doctor appointments boiled to the forefront of conversation.


The next day my blood sugars returned to normal, even after eating, but a small amount of concern remains. It's the first time I've shown any hints of abnormal health. So, now, my eating habits will be adjusted a little to keep from over taxing my insulin production. That's what I'll have to do to remain healthy. It's nice to have my wife readily available to help encourage good eating habits. 


Most of the people living on the streets of Miami don't have that luxury. They don't have anyone that will nudge them when habits start affecting their spiritual, physical or mental health. They are all alone and can only see the needs they have in the moment and strive to satisfy them however possible.


Please pray that we can be that loving, encouraging person in the lives of the people that we are reaching out to on the streets. Please pray that God will give us wisdom in everything we say and do to help turn them towards God and not away from him.

Discouraged?

Blog Post by Wendy Kauffman

Confession: I get discouraged easily. I think we all get discouraged, but some hit that point sooner than others. It is kind of frustrating to me because it takes a lot longer for Jeff to get discouraged. I can get frustrated, discouraged and be ready to give up and I turn around and there is Jeff getting ready for a marathon. I am so glad God put him in my life and this is one of the many reasons. I can't tell you the number of times I have said I quit and there he is telling me all the time: "God is faithful."

One of the the other things that I have to do frequently to keep from getting discouraged is spending a lot of time talking with God. This can seem strange to a lot of people but it really helps me. I sometimes will find myself yelling at God, crying out to God and thanking God all in a 5 minute time span.
I also make it a point to spend time alone with God everyday. This can be very hard to do with my busy life but I find it essential for my sanity. I need to be encouraged by God.

So yesterday in time alone I came across these verses: Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet, stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked, keep your feet from following evil. Proverbs 4:25-27

In other words when I get discouraged, this is what God is saying to me. Wendy, don't get sidetracked by all the peripheral stuff. What is the main goal here? What are you trying to do? Stay focused on the main thing. Don't get sidetracked by all you don't know, move forward in what you do know. Get busy doing THAT. In the meantime keep yourself from following what is evil and can sidetrack you. Don't make any rash, big decision while you are discouraged. Just stay on the path you are on. This will pass, it always does. No, don't quit. Never give up. Keep your eyes on me. I can handle this. I got your back. You do what is right in the right way. Stay the course. I'll take care of the rest. Do you trust me to do that???

I assume that I am not the only one who gets discouraged and needs help to move forward. This is what I feel God is saying to me in this scripture. I hope today that no matter what you are going through or what you are being asked to do that you remember that God has got your back. Do you trust him?